Wednesday, 26 October 2016

Major Trev

As the lasers fired, this old tin can lowered it self onto the dust carpet of Mars. Major Trev stepped down to witness a million masks marching up Olympus Mons to protest the outpouring of hot lava on the people of Mars. Olympus stood along with the twelve Olympians that resided on the Mount - Zeus, Hera, Poseidon, Athena, Apollo, Artemis, Hestia, Demeter, Hermes, Aphrodite, Ares and Hephaestus and the 9 muses. "Major Trev, what took you so long, we've been waiting for you all these years!" Major Trev had been reading the latest article in New Scientist on his long star struck journey, called "You are hallucinating right now to make sense of the world", how the brain works like predictive texts, filling in the gaps, so what you see is not reality but the brain's attempts to make sense of all the shadows and shapes it perceives. Major Trev looked up at the Olympian Gods and the Million masks climbing up the volcano and realised there was no clear distinction between what was real and fiction! Major Trev had his eyes on all the nymphs but also noticed a large number of eunuchs who, judging by their masks, had been former cats and dogs on earth. Major Trev made a mental note to himself not to purr or bark while in the presence of Olympus, just in case the neutered him! Major Trev was hoping to get in a few shags while here on Mars, the muses looked inspiring! Just then Olympus stood on the rock, lava spitting underneath,and took off his mask. "Christ" thought Major Trev, it's Bowie in disguise. "I've been reborn, what else would have expected of Ziggy Stardust". Now Major Trev knew he was hallucinating, without the required medication."There's something in the new Scientist article" he thought. Major Trev looked around for his bearing and saw a walk through statue of Trump trying to grope Hilary and getting slapped. "So this is the publicity stunt for your new mix, then David" but David had floated off along with all the masks and gods and Major Trev (who'd never really been a Major) was left with just shadows and shapes and a cool video to watch when he got back to Earth. Meanwhile the Facebook algorithms were going wild trying to make sense of it all, if anything ever made sense on Earth...

Words by Trev Teasdel

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