Ratatouille owned Chardonnay wells in downtown Colombard where an extraterrestrial diplomat had made love to Donna Kebab on a dare. I know we humans are skeptical but this really happened! It's true.
Donna worked her way up in the Sedimentary Parliament of Colombard and displayed outstanding skills that left her critics speechless.
" People of Colombard enough of this shit " she screamed.
Donna was a woman with an extraordinary vocabulary but she could silence an audience with the way she pronounced ' Shit '. Just everybody knew what she meant! She'd written novels like and that and they'd sold! Sometimes the world only needs one word, the right word, and it triggers a continent of imagery and a plan of action.
Ratatouille had had too many Chardonnays and had been caught cheating on his wife at breakfast. The press were having a field day, distracting their readers from the inverted reality of the world. The light shone through Donna, and you only had to look into her eyes to know the truth.
Well, it so happened that Donna was honoured in the word Char(donna)y, and was well chuffed, but it wasn't enough! Ratatouille, meanwhile, was fiddling the cheese out of the cheese traps in Switzerland and lying about his relationship with the Duchess of Gorgonzola.
" People of Earth " shouted Donna Kebab "Don't let the bastards grind you down! ".
Donna was not one for telling stories in the usual manner and often appeared naked in the dreams of the Colombard Parliament! Just then the Chardonnay Wells burst open and the world became drunk. Nothing much changed and Ratatouille remained cool throughout!
Text by Trev Teasdel